On Saturday
I did not freak out at my husband, exclaiming I must have written directions from google because I do not have an irrational fear of getting lost. Once in Cambridge, I did not keep pestering my husband asking, "Are you sure we are going to the right way? Please look at the map on your phone." It was not me who pointed outed every pregnant woman and baby I saw. I did not eat twice as much sushi as the normal human being. I did not talk my husband into buying two HUGE loaves of fresh bread at Gregg's. I definitely did not talk my husband into paying at least $12 dollars for a tiny box of delish Belgian chocolates. And we absolutely positively did not almost get stuck in the parking garage because the pay machines wouldn't take an American credit card. Once back on base, we did not buy caffeine, sugar-laden soft drinks at the BX just because we had have them. We did not drive through Liberty Village and look longingly at the newer, shinier, give-you-warm-and-safe-fuzzy-feeling base housing before we went back to our own humble abode. There, we did not slice into one of the loaves of fresh bread, eating half the loaf before consuming half our box of chocolates as our dinner.
On Sunday
We did not sleep in and skip church on Easter morning. We did not consume copious amounts of cheesy eggs and polish off loaf #1, toasted and slathered in butter and Blackberry Jam. We most certainly did not spend all day in our pajamas, on the couch, watching the entire first season of Dexter. It was definitely not my cat who tried to jump out a tilted open kitchen window, getting his Buddha belly stuck, and needing to be rescued after a loud pitiful meow. I have no idea who consumed the entire loaf #2 and the rest of the Belgian chocolates because we most certainly did not. I did not use my husband for manual labor, making him mix and mash all of the ingredients for two batches of banana muffins. I did not encourage my husband to use my pink Skintimate sensitive skin shaving cream to shave his head. It definitely was not me who kept my husband up til 10:30pm when he had to get up at 5:45am and run a 5k this fine drizzly Monday morning. I was not the one who stayed up to watch the final episode of Dexter season 1 because I am not addicted and did not have to see who the Ice Truck Killer was... (<-----and it defintely was NOT me who ended that last sentence so horribly...)
Nope. I definitely did not do any of those things. And, today, I will most certainly not be asking my husband to pick up certain girly products on his way home from work because I was most certainly not too lazy and too disgusted with my sweaty self to pick them up after I worked out this morning.
Wow! Just wow!
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