Kentucky, I have arrived!

I am officially back in Ky. Gerrit is in Germany and George is in England. Could we be even more split up???

I arrived without any complications, with all my luggage and a HUGE surplus of energy.
I have been bouncing off the walls and did math to find that I have been awake for almost 42 hours straight!
Who'd'a thunk I'd still be functioning??

Gerrit and I can at least communicate by email now so I don't have to wait until next week sometime to talk to him. Being able to at least email makes me feel sooooo much better.

Being so hyper, I'm finding it hard to type. Will have more tomorrow!

9 hours,,,

Wash sheets and put them back on the bed - check
Wash towels - check
Scrub bathroom clean - check
Clean kitchen - check
Vacuum upstairs and down - check
Wash clothes - check
Take out trash and recyclables - check

All that is left is to get dressed and finish putting everything in my suitcase and my purse. I have "George proofed" as much of the house as I can though who knows what he will get into.

It's actually really hard to leave now. I thought I couldn't get away from this place fast enough but so much has changed. This actually feels like home. Don't get me wrong, I'm stoked about seeing my family and my friends, but I'm still leaving my family behind. My two G's. I am every bit as attached to George as I am my 11 yr old cat in Ky who I actually forbid to die while I was in England...

And it is just so hard to leave my wonderful husband! I'm so used to being around him all the time after being apart for so long. I'm already counting down the days until I get to see him again. Is that wrong of me?

It's just bittersweet...

Wednesday rambling

Only one more day of being in England. 48 hours from now I will be somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean pending the volcano doesn't decide to start upchucking smoke again!

I'm excited to go home and spend time with people but I really hate leaving George here. Thankfully, a coworker of Gerrit's is coming by to take care of the little guy and Gerrit should be coming back around the 8th so it's not too terribly long. I can think of multiple animals that got left at the vet clinic I used to work at for much longer than that! Try like, 2 months, poor things! I comfort myself with the knowledge that Georgie will be in his own home with lots of space where he can get rambunctious and not be shut in a little cage for a long time. It may sound ridiculous but its hard to leave him just because he was a gift from Gerrit. I look at George and I know how much Gerrit cares about me.

The next month seems like its going to take soooo long no matter how much stuff I already have on my calendar. Bridal showers, day trips to visit friends and in-laws, scheduled dinners and lunches... I really can't believe its already Wednesday though. It seems like Gerrit left yesterday. And what's pretty great is that tomorrow will be chock full of stuff to do! I have to clean the entire house, wash towels and sheets and cloths and pack and those in conjunction with working out in the morning should fill up my day quite nicely. However, I'm not sure how I'm going to amuse myself all night long. Yes, folks, I am pulling an all nighter. Why??? you ask. The answer, my friends, is that when you don't fall asleep til after midnight and you have to be at the bus stop at 0400 in the AM, its not worth it to fall asleep and have to try and drag your butt outta the house. I don't take kindly to waking up. If only the Starbucks was open really late...

ugh...Tuesday

So I'm my Monday on Tuesday = bad day.

Nothing in particular really. Just lots of tears and missing Gerrit. I don't know how well I'm going to handle the first time he's deployed. At least come Friday, I will have more people around me. June is going to be extremely lonely around here with Gerrit going on yet another TDY (temporary duty).

37 days til I see Gerrit again

Sunday and Monday

Yesterday was kind of rough. I spent all day curled up in the couch, in my pjs, reading and eating whatever I could find in the kitchen...Sunday is usually mine and get's "kick back and relax" day. We will cook breakfast and read and pick on each other and torture (figuratively speaking, of course) Mr George and watch movies. I just found I didn't have much motivation to do much else. I read from probably 9:30am to 11:30pm yesterday. That may be hard to believe for some people but if you actually know me, that's not an unusual thing for me to do.

Highlight of yesterday: I got an email AND a phone call from Gerrit! Evidently, things are not so organized and its a bit on the chaotic side. The weird thing is that his phone completely reset itself- everything he has put in and updated since we arrived was deleted/lost. He couldn't remember my cell number but remember the house number, thankfully. -A big thanks to you people who keep calling us asking about The Great Little Pizza Place. You helped us to memorize our home phone number! For those who don't know, our house number is one number different than this pizza place and we get a handful of calls every week from people who just want to order a pizza.- He wouldn't find out until today whether he will have night or day shift and he also has to go buy a phone card so that he can call without racking upGINORMOUS cell phone bills. Hopefully I will hear from him again today.

Today's Agenda- working out and reading- at least I'm being somewhat productive and getting out of the house!

Great friends

Great friends make a world of difference.

My first night being alone in England, I went to a pub with a few friends, had a few Strongbows and dinner and just laughed and had a great time. I was distracted until I crawled into a empty bed when I got home.

Today, I went shopping in Bury St Edmonds with the same friends who, by the way, didn't even ask if I was actually interested. They just informed me I was going and I had an hour to shower and get dressed before they would pick me up! So we wandered for a few hours around the open market, tried on lots of fabulous hats, ate lunch, drank coffee and just pleasantly passed the time.

I love having great friends. To these people, I'm not just Steenbergen's Wife. I have a name and feelings. They even were on the hunt to help me find shoes to match my bridesmaid's dress for next month! I had planned to read most of the day and maybe drag my sorry but to the gym- the day actually ended up being much better and included a skype call with one of my long lost best friends back in Ky.

I am so thankful for my friends.

goodbyes are the worst

I have said goodbye to my most wonderful husband until June 3.

No matter how many times you have to say it, it never gets any easier.

And you never miss them any less.

I'm so lucky, I will get to say goodbye to Gerrit, yet again, about 4 days after I get back from the states.

sighs

41 days til I see him again

I Love Lidocaine !

Last night, after being in bed for two hours, without being able to breathe, swallow, or fall asleep, I asked Gerrit to take me to the ER. Though they couldn't give me an antibiotics without my throat culture results, they at least gave me some super strength Ibuprofen for the inflammation and swelling in my throat and this pretty awesome Lidocaine solution goop. I gargle the latter with a small bit of water and VOILA! mouth and throat are numb. We got home around 1230am and I slept until 930am! Boy did I need the sleep! At least now, though I have no idea what is wrong with me, I'm at least considerably more comfortable than I have been. Hopefully, I will hear back on my culture results and then get some medicine tomorrow.

Sadly enough, Gerrit leaves tomorrow for Germany. I'm not exactly looking forward to a week by myself but it's doable. It's amazing how hard the next six weeks are going to be. You'd think that with 8 and half weeks of BMT and another 6 and half at Tech school, we'd be used to be apart. I will miss my husband so much. I don't think I will ever get used to be apart from him.

Happy Birthday to my mother today!

Its going to be a long day...

So I've been up for an hour already and my clock says its 724am.

I spent the night on the couch because of my stupid sore throat- couldn't get comfortable in bed. George thought it was time to attack anything that moved under the blanket THE ENTIRE NIGHT. And I still have to walk in and wait 24-48hours for my throat culture results. I mean really? Why does it take that long? Why do I have go sleepless for two more nights? What happens when it comes back negative for strep? Do I finally get to see a doctor after that??? They could do a strep test much faster than that at my pediatricians office back home. Surely a hospital could do it that quickly...

Flight update: today's flight was canceled out of London so we called and got it changed to next Friday. Gerrit will either leave tomorrow evening or early Friday morning by bus to get to his exercise in Germany. That leaves me here a week, just me and George. Yesterday, being here a week without Gerrit didn't sound too terrible but I'm still going to miss him crap tons. And thank God for new friends who have already told me I'm hanging out with them on Friday night. Surely a week can't last that long, right?

Waiting..

I'm still waiting to see if they are going to cancel my flight tomorrow or not. Right now, flights are supposed to resume at 7pm this evening, and that only includes select flights. It's up to each airline, I believe, to decide their course or action. Air Canada's website says my flight is still on schedule but I guess I will just have to keep checking all day to be kept up to speed.

I found out yesterday that Gerrit will be leaving for an out of country exercise and will be gone a little over two weeks. Assuming I leave tomorrow, poor Georgie will be parentless while Gerrit is gone. Thankfully, we have friends who are willing to take care of him. I love my husband for his response to be notified of his impending departure- "My wife is gonna kill me.." and then preceded to first, find someone to take care of George and second, find out as many specifics as possible, not for himself, but for me, knowing I would freak out as soon as the words came out of his mouth. According to him, I actually took the news better than he expected me to. I don't know if I reacted well or he just doesn't give me much credit.

The last few days, since about Friday, I have had a sore throat, been a nauseous at time, and have felt pretty washed out. I call to make an appointment and evidently, a sore throat only merrits a walk-in throat culture... I really don't think swabbing my throat is going to tell them much considering my throat muscles are more sore and swollen rather than having a scratchy feeling. Can anyone say "mono: round two"?? Dear Lord, let's hope not. I was hoping to at least get some sort of antibiotic to start it going away before my departure tomorrow, assuming the flight is not canceled. My throat actually kept me up for a good bit of the night, leading me to dread flying with a sore throat. I get dehydrated enough on air planes without having this wonderful crud. There have actually been a few people at Gerrit's shop who have commented on having a sore throat but they seemed to have gotten over it faster than I have. Yay for a craptastic immune system!

I guess I will go ahead and pack my suitcase this afternoon/evening and just keep tabs on my flight status. Keep your fingers crossed.

One Day at a Time

So basically, I have been going just one day at a time since the volcano ash fiasco has begun. I have seen neither cloud nor ash and still have no real idea if I will be returning to Kentucky on Wednesday. Flights were supposed to resume on Saturday. It is now Monday and only a handful of flights haven't been canceled out of Heathrow. Destinations for these include Belfast and Zurich. Other than that, there is basically no flying out of London, at least from Heathrow. I have not checked the other airports.

Gerrit, as always, is my anchor. On Friday, he asked me to call or at least find a phone number for Air Canada to check on my flight status. Of course, thanks to my lack of any sort of luck, I found numbers that either did not exist or were long distance or just weren't appropriate for the questions I needed to ask. I, of course, became seriously stressed out, to the point of almost being sick and in tears. Upon arriving home, Gerrit promptly found a number, called it, and verified that, as of that moment, my flight was still on for Wednesday.

This entire weekend he has been here, keeping me grounded...pardon the pun, snicker... he has dutifully checked the flight schedule for Heathrow and Air Canada. Whenever I lapsed into one of my notoriously over dramatic freaking out, 'its the end of the world' moments, Gerrit, in all his stress free coolness, just hugs me and says something like "Don't worry. We'll figure it out and get it all fixed. If the flight is canceled, we will just call and get you a new one. Simple as that." Oh how I wish it were that easy for my brain, to just be cool and calm and not freak out due to any deviation whatsoever from "the plan".

As of this morning, when Gerrit called, my flight is still scheduled for Wednesday. But who knows what will happen over the next 36 hours. Guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Stupid Volcano Ash

Seriously? Right when its about time for me to fly back to the states, a volcano's gotta belch out a great big cloud of ash and delay all the flight in and out of England??? Gah...

I am supposed to fly out on Wednesday...

The ash was supposed to hit around 5pm yesterday... then midnight last night... then 1pm today... still no ash!!!

All flights are canceled til sometime tomorrow (Saturday).

And I can't find a stinkin' phone number that will help me figure out what to do about my flight!

If the darn ash would just drop already, it would dissipate and then flights can resume back to normal!!!!

I'm a little stressed out but I really don't think it shows ...

Ely, UK

I went with my friend, Alison, to Ely. It used to be Isle of Ely when it used to be completely surrounded by water. Alas, it is no longer an Isle but its still a fantastic place to visit. We planned to go to an amazing little tea room but sadly, it was closed, being only open Wed-Sun. Instead, we ate at a little cafe that was pretty good. Alison had a cheesy sort of vegetable cake/lasagna except there were no noodles, and I had a fantastic chicken caesar salad which came with bacon; if all English caeser salads come with bacon, I will start ordering more of them!

After lunch, we toured the Ely Cathedral. We did the Octagon Tower tour where you actually get to go up into the tour, and walk up tiny spiral stair cases, open wooden panels 65 ft high that are painted with angels, and admire the Ely landscape from the roof. It was absolutely amazing! Here are a few of the pictures. Unfortunately, my camera died before we actually went up in the tower. I am hoping to get a few pictures from Alison and will post them to give you a better idea of what we saw on the tour.

3 Day Weekend

Friday
We went to a pub in Newmarket called the Golden Lion with a few friends. When we got to the pub, the boys went to the bar to order and the other girl, Leslie, and I sat down. We were then joined by two british guys and a woman where the guys proceeded to hit on us. Can you say awkward?? Gerrit took forever at the bar, calling it karma... in the car on the ride there, I just might have vented some frustration that Gerrit gets hit on all the time but I don't, which is quite annoying. When he finally sat down, the table held the three Brits and we 5 Americans. Names were exchanged and things weren't too bad until the British guys started whispering and then one looks at Gerrit and asked, "Are you takin' a piss?". Answering truthfully, Gerrit replied, "I did before I sat down at the table." This seemed to be the wrong answer. He repeatedly asked Gerrit this, standing over the table, getting in our faces, then threatened the empty his beer and the glass over one of our friend's heads before, he and the other two Brits aburptly stood up, infuriated and stomped out the back. It was funny and scary at the same time, seeing as we had no idea why he was so mad. We found out later that he was actually asking Gerrit if he was mocking or making fun of him. I guess his original answer was definitely not the right thing to say. We got many a laugh out of this for the rest of dinner.

Saturday
Gerrit and I went to London to explore the Tower of London and to go to the Tea Room at Harrods. We drove to the underground station, took the tube in to London straight to the tower. Before the tower, we got ourselves some street vendor hotdogs- not the same as American hotdogs- but they were pretty darned tasty and pretty darned big, at least 10 inches long. We explored for about three hours and saw the Crown Jewels, the Bloody Tower where Sir Ralegh was held, the scaffolding site where many famous people were beheaded, including Lady Jane Grey, and then explored some of the other buildings like the White Towel and another I can't remember the name of. Here are a few pictures from our exploring the tower.

The above pictures, in order, are: Gerrit entering the tower, one of the torturing areas, a prisoner's wall carving, Sir Ralegh's quarters, view from the walk next to the Bloody Tower, and the building with the history of the British Military.
We attempted to find Harrods, however, Google Maps would not cooperate with us- it kept directing us to a random location which was not the department store. We eventually gave up and found another place to sit and have afternoon tea. Sitting here, Gerrit finally figured out the correct location. It was too late to hit up Harrods so we decided to save it for another day trip and headed back home.

Sunday
Gerrit played golf while I stayed home and was lazy/went to the Commisary. We watched multiple epsides of Dexter (I am not addicted! ), made banana muffins and then made dinner for a friends that came over later. After dinner, we played Euchre and once again, my partner and I stomped my husband and his partner. 2 for 2 :)

All in all, twas a good, exhausting, but good, three day weekend.

Am I returning home or leaving?

It's taken me a while but I'm finally pretty content over here in England.

At first, it was unbearably hard to be away from everything in BG. I missed my friends, my family, my cats, my room, my car.... just everything. Some days it was all I could do to get out of bed. When I finally booked my ticket back to the states for my most wonderfullest best friend's wedding, I couldn't have been more excited to get away from England.

But now, I feel like its going to completely throw me outta whack. Yes, I'm still excited to go home and see everyone and everything. The other day, though, when I got to really thinking about it, I realized I am going to be away from my husband for 6 weeks. All I had really thought about was what I was going towards and never thought about who I had to leave behind in England. And I have to leave them behind. Gerrit has to work. Coming back with me really isn't an option. And George has to stay behind too. My big cat back home would shred the little guy to pieces before the first week was up.

I leave in 13 days. And it's actually going to be hard to go back. The other day, Gerrit actually flat out said, "You know, I am going to miss you." He says it feels funny if I'm not sleeping in the bed with him. He's not one to talk about his feelings or flat out say "I miss you". It just took me off guard to hear him say that, with more emotion in his voice than he usually lets out.

I'm hoping these last 13 days don't go too terribly fast. Life is good here. And I know once I get back, I'm going to be dying for time to speed up. Hopefully, I will be too busy to get bored and get homesick for England. Don't get me wrong, I am still ridiculously excited to see everyone in Kentucky; I am not dreading coming back at all. There is too much that is good and wonderful waiting for me there. England is just finally starting to feel like home.

Mixed Emotions

Today is full of mixed emotions.:

A year ago today, I kissed my husband good-bye for 8 and 1/2 weeks. Two days before that was the day he proposed....

The emotions I feel at this very moment are every bit as strong as they were a year ago. But they are more complex, deeper. Trying to put them into words is almost agonizing and I am actually typing this with tears in my eyes.

I remember waking up with Gerrit on his couch where I had cried myself to sleep the night before. We'd had dinner with his and my parents the previous day. And in preparation for his leaving, I had buzzed off all of his beautiful hair in the kitchen of his apartment. I remember opening my eyes and the wave of emotion hit me, the realization that he was leaving that day. I cried and begged him not to make me go to class, to let me spend the day with him. But my stubborn Gerrit, the same as ever, put my education before everything else, drove me to my dorm to change, and then drove me up the hill to my first class. I don't even remember any of my classes that day except for a single instance. I commented to my lab partners that I was going to have to leave lab early and could I get the data from them later? A friend commented how "lucky" I was to be leaving early. I remember just looking at her and saying, "I'm lucky? I have to go say good-bye to fiance for 8 and a half weeks. He's leaving for the Air Force."

So I kissed him good-bye and sat in my car, crying sobbing out of control, determined to watch him drive away with the recruiter, to see him just one last time. To see him blow me a kiss as he left. A dozen letters, a handful of phone calls, and 8 and a half weeks later, I watched him march in at BMT graduation. The entire plane ride down, with his mother and sister, I had been excited, nauseous, terrified. How much different was he going to be? Will he still be the same man I fell in love with? Will he still love me?

I had been terrified to touch him, to look him in the eye, to really talk to him. Once alone, I got my answers. He was different for sure but he was definitely still the same man who was still in love with me. Different in that he was more mature, less goofy and carefree but only when in uniform. I remember crying when it finally hit me that he was still "My Gerrit".

I am so proud of my husband. I have been since the day he graduated BMT. Though it was hard to be apart for 8 months, every minute of it was worth it. The Air Force has been a blessing in that it helped him to grow in to the man I finally got to marry. The man who would walk through fire for me. The man who would risk his life for his country. Some days I absolutely love the Air Force, and some days.... not so much. But without it, I would not have the life that I have with my husband today. I don't have always love it, but I will always love what it has made my husband become. I am so proud of him and always will be.

Tuesday

Nothing too exciting for the day.

I had lunch with Gerrit at the Commisary after my morning workout. The deli makes HUGE deli sandwiches. Even the small ones are bigger than a 12 inch sandwich from Subway and cheaper too! After that, I ran by the BX for shampoo and British passport pictures. And then, I took Georgie for his first vet appointment. There was a tiny Yorkie and an 8 week old lab pup which he kept ee-ing at, seeing as he still doesn't really have a proper meow. They weighed him, and he is up to 9 and a half pounds. And he definitely didn't appreciate the shots. He is now sulking and curled up in a little ball on the floor. He will need his second round of shots next month and should be neutered the beginning of June! Woo!

Gerrit's soccer team's first game is today at 5:30pm. The weather is gorgeous, and it has been staying light out until almost 8pm. It's wonderful! Plus, its actually sunny and NOT rainy today! Just some killer wind but I'll take that over 40 degrees and rainy. Yuck. The kids on the team really love Gerrit, seeing as he's young and fun and gets out there and plays with them. Hopefully, they will play well tonight!

Not Me! Monday

I am taking a note out of MckMama's book and doing a Not me! Monday about my Easter weekend.

On Saturday
I did not freak out at my husband, exclaiming I must have written directions from google because I do not have an irrational fear of getting lost. Once in Cambridge, I did not keep pestering my husband asking, "Are you sure we are going to the right way? Please look at the map on your phone." It was not me who pointed outed every pregnant woman and baby I saw. I did not eat twice as much sushi as the normal human being. I did not talk my husband into buying two HUGE loaves of fresh bread at Gregg's. I definitely did not talk my husband into paying at least $12 dollars for a tiny box of delish Belgian chocolates. And we absolutely positively did not almost get stuck in the parking garage because the pay machines wouldn't take an American credit card. Once back on base, we did not buy caffeine, sugar-laden soft drinks at the BX just because we had have them. We did not drive through Liberty Village and look longingly at the newer, shinier, give-you-warm-and-safe-fuzzy-feeling base housing before we went back to our own humble abode. There, we did not slice into one of the loaves of fresh bread, eating half the loaf before consuming half our box of chocolates as our dinner.

On Sunday 
We did not sleep in and skip church on Easter morning. We did not consume copious amounts of cheesy eggs and polish off loaf #1, toasted and slathered in butter and Blackberry Jam. We most certainly did not spend all day in our pajamas, on the couch, watching the entire first season of Dexter. It was definitely not my cat who tried to jump out a tilted open kitchen window, getting his Buddha belly stuck, and needing to be rescued after a loud pitiful meow. I have no idea who consumed the entire loaf #2 and the rest of the Belgian chocolates because we most certainly did not. I did not use my husband for manual labor, making him mix and mash all of the ingredients for two batches of banana muffins. I did not encourage my husband to use my pink Skintimate sensitive skin shaving cream to shave his head. It definitely was not me who kept my husband up til 10:30pm when he had to get up at 5:45am and run a 5k this fine drizzly Monday morning. I was not the one who stayed up to watch the final episode of Dexter season 1 because I am not addicted and did not have to see who the Ice Truck Killer was... (<-----and it defintely was NOT me who ended that last sentence so horribly...) 

Nope. I definitely did not do any of those things. And, today, I will most certainly not be asking my husband to pick up certain girly products on his way home from work because I was most certainly not too lazy and too disgusted with my sweaty self to pick them up after I worked out this morning.

Off Day/Day Off

Am I the only person who just wakes up feeling weird? I opened my eyes this morning and everything just felt off. I have no idea why. Maybe it's just an accumulation of exhaustion from working my butt off this week. Hopefully that's it. It's yucky timing though because Gerrit actually has today off. I want to be able to enjoy today but instead, I just feel weird, and tired, and kind of just want to crawl back in bed for the day.
Grrr... I hate off days.

Hurry Up and Wait

Gah.... oh how I love to hurry up and wait... not.

Beginning of February, there was a chance for Gerrit to possibly deploy come December. Then there wasn't a chance a few weeks later. So up until, oh, two days ago, I'd been operating under the assumption that there wasn't a chance he would deploy that soon. However, I did know he was moving to squadron come May, meaning, he will be working with pilots under the squadron he will be deploying with eventually... I think that's correct. ANYHOW, what he failed to tell me until two days ago was that now there is a chance he will be deployed sometime between December and May of next year.... While that makes me sad, it frustrates me in that we have to work around that possibility. There is no early planning for anything during that time frame until we find out from his new squadron, come May, whether they think he will or will not be deployed that soon... hurry up and wait...

Oh, and today, he has Hummer Training. What is that? Training to drive a huge Hummer.... that is NOT in his job description. He is supposed to sit in a room, inside a room, at a desk, doing desk thingies. NOT driving a hummer, out in the middle of the open where there is crazy stuff possibly happening! That does not make me very happy today.

And another random but frustrating point: I woke up at like 2 am starving and then couldn't go back to sleep for like a hour, which caused me to sleep an hour later than I was supposed to....

It's like a Monday except on a Thursday... ya know?